Thursday, July 18, 2013
Will my body betray me?
In 2 days, I leave to India.
I am so excited but to be so honest, sometimes I feel my excitement is overshadowed by worrying about my health.
Yesterday, my nieces and I had just come home from being at the mall. I was so fatigued when I came back, I felt I was going to pass out. My 6 year old niece asked me if I wanted to play outside with her. I said "No, the sun makes me tired.". Then my niece said "You're always tired". I almost teared up when she said that because she was right.
One of the symptoms I feel all the time is fatigue. After the simplest tasks, I get so tired. Fatigue, along with other symptoms like sleepless nights, migraines and rare pain is a bit of what I experience.
Many times, I make plans to go out with friends or go to an event and I have to cancel because of how my body feels. It's so unpredictable and it's so frustrating.
I have truly been afraid that my body will betray me while I am in India. If the heat gets to me here in Canada...how much more in India? I already have problems sleeping in my own bed....how will I sleep on the plane or a different country? If I get so weak here form the simplest tasks, how will I be on the go for 3 weeks?
I cry just thinking about it. I have been praying so hard that my health will not hinder the mission. Hmmm...did I just say that? hinder the mission? Whose mission is this? Jesus' mission. What can hinder Jesus? Nothing!
Last night, I had a hard time falling asleep. Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I begin thinking of the word of God and the characteristics of God. I become so comforted when thinking about such things that I fall asleep. Last night, I feel asleep remembering the powerful miracles of God; opening the Red Sea, healing lepers, raising the dead. God is so powerful. The Bible says that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. I prayed last night "God, if you were powerful enough to do that (the miracles) than why am I doubting that You will intervene if my health were to go wrong during the missions trip?
God, help me to trust in you. You are creator of my body and therefore Lord of it. Please protect me and my teammates' health. Lord, that You would take over any health concerns. You are powerful God. We're not going on this trip because it's convenient for us; we go for You. Have grace on us, cover us with protection and give us good health. That You would prevail in this. Keep my eyes on You and help me to keep trusting in you in this aspect. May Your Son be glorified in all. Amen.
Friends, if you'd like to know about what to pray about for me; this is it- my health. Please pray that I will have good health and good sleep while in India. Thank you.