Monday, February 18, 2013

Injured knee, broken heart= healed?


Since coming to Tyndale in September 2011, a new chapter in my life has begun. The past year and a half has been filled with every single type of adventure. Some moments are filled with a lot of pain and others with joy.

Coming to Tyndale has been a joy in so many ways. For those of you who know me, you have witnessed my adventure of being a Masters student, serving the school on council, serving at my church (www.westminsterchapel.ca), volunteering with ex-offenders and now getting ready to go to India for missions. I am grateful for the latter. Most of my facebook posts and conversation with people I run into daily mention these exciting adventures, but many of my painful adventures are lived behind closed doors. In this blog, I'd like to share a little bit of that pain with you. "Why?" you may ask. I'm not quite sure. But one reason I can think of is to infuse hope in your pain.

There are two things that have brought hurt for me in the pat year and a half. I have shared this with only people who are close to me; not because I want to hide anything but because   I am still learning to share my pain and allow others to comfort me. The two things that have been most unpleasant for me in the past year and a half have been bad health and relationships/friendships with guys.

Recently, I was journalling about my health and I realized how much my body has had to take this year. I have had unknown symptoms, a handful of hospital visits, medication trials, 2 injuries and a lump in my breast that the doctors thought may have been cancer. Thankfully, I have stopped taking meds, my injuries have been healed and the lump was diagnosed benign. Going through all of that wasn't easy though; rather, it was frustrating and emotionally draining. The last thing that I dealt with was my injured knee. {If you want to know how I injured it, watch this video of my friend Min-Soo re-enacting the accident: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QThByOfFums }. My knee was healed after an elderly couple prayed for it. I won't go into the details today, but basically, my had been injured for 8 weeks at that point. The physiotherapist told me it takes about 2 more months to heal. I was frustrated because I was walking with a limp, it hurt to go up the stairs and my movement were painful. Well, a week after that appointment, this couple prayed that my knee would heal. Instantly, the pain went down from a 6 to a 2. I still had a bit of pain. I prayed that God would take away the rest of the pain. Within a week, the pain was gone. I can now go on jogs again, go upstairs and bend my knees without discomfort. In fact, I even started Intense Circuit Training. I have been doing it for 5 weeks and I am loving every bit of it! Praise God! 

Besides physical sickness, my heart has also been sick or broken. The past year and a half has only brought confusion and pain in the guy area. I will not summarize my situations-not even vaguely- to protect the guys from defamation. I just want to clarify that I am not going around dating different guys that I end up in such trouble. In fact, I've remained single for about 6 years now. 
Recently, this guy who was praying for me said "you have been hurt and lied to by many men. But know God is not those men; He is Faithful and True". I began crying right away because he was completely right. The guy had no knowledge about my recent experiences. 
The past year and a half has been a terrible experience that should leave me wondering if I can trust any guy again..but it hasn't left me that way. God has given me a resilient heart. 
The most significant hurt came this past Summer. For some reason, this heartbreak has been greater than any other in the past. Proverbs 13:12 says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life". I think what happened this past summer is that my hope was deferred and it made my heart sick. I developed feelings for this one guy. I hoped to start a relationship with this handsome, godly, revolutionary,and compassionate man...but as quickly as it all began it also ended. There was no closure to our conversation or relationship {or whatever it was}. It left me feeling vulnerable, hurt and with many things I wanted to say him. I was left angry and bitter at the situation, myself, him and even God. However, it took me months to figure that out and even to admit it.  
Since that heartbreak in the summer, I've journeyed to healing. I feel like this past January has brought me to a new chapter in healing. I could be wrong, but I felt God saying to me recently: Just as I healed your knee, I will heal your heart. There was a particular time in January when I was praying and I felt like God was saying He was going to bring me extra and speedy healing soon. 
One day later, a godly and mature man expressed how he felt about me. It took me by surprise because I felt I had just met him. Yet, he had his eye on me for a quite a while. He treated me with such gentleness and respect. I became curious to know more about him although I did not have mutual feelings. I became curious about him because I had never met a man so bold as him. We chatted a couple times. I asked him a ton of questions to see if he would be someone I could see myself with. Unfortunately, he wasn't. My heart is still occupied and healing from the summer heartbreak. Although nothing ended up happening with this guy who shared his feelings for me (let's call him Mr.Bold), touched something inside of me that hadn't been touched in a long time. Because of the heartbreak, I was believing that I was un-likeable. I was also beginning to believe that there were no single, mature, bold, courageous and godly men left out there. I also hadn't seen a guy pursue a girl in a bold and godly manner in a while! So, what Mr.Bold did was correct the silent and unconscious beliefs I had due to my experiences with guys. I believe God used Mr.Bold to contribute to my healing. I told Mr.Bold of how he had redeemed some of my experiences and was even a contributor to my healing, and he (sweetly and maturely) replied: "If I must be afflicted for your sake, I will (2 Cor. 1:6); If I must be hurt so that you can be healed, I'll do it". Oh my goodness! Like, seriously- where did he come from? So sweet! I thanked him for being so mature in his response. He said "I'm a big man". It's true; he's all grown up to respond in such a mature way. This type of maturity was refreshing for me. I am truly not worried about him. He is mature and strong enough to take this "rejection" (that word is strong, but I couldn't think of a better one). He is a good man, just not the one for me. God will heal him, just as He is healing me.

So, I continue on this journey of healing. Just recently, a friend has come alongside and comforted me. She has gone through the same situation. I finally feel validated and supported in the pain I have been experiencing. In addition- because her situation has just happened- I feel my painful experience has been of some use; to comfort. 

I must say that the pain has subsided a lot in the past month. This is only a work of God. Praise Him. I really look forward to the day when my pain from this heartbreak will be completely healed. For those of you with a broken heart, cling to Jesus because hope is found in Him. He is good in the midst of the bad. Let Him heal you; He cares and He will. 

My Prayer: Thank you my God for your goodness. Thank you for the hope that you offer when things are so dark. Forgive me God because of my unfaithfulness during the darkness; for getting angry with myself, You and Mr.Heartbreaker. "When my heart was grieved, and spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you.... 
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by the right hand. You guide me with your counsel...Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Ps. 73:21-26). Thank you for your faithfulness, even when I am unfaithful. Continue healing my heart. I know you will redeem my pain one day, so I thank you in advance for that. I love you my Redeemer. Amen. 



Friday, February 15, 2013

My 1st Sermon



For my Systematic Theology II class, we had to write a sermon...not preach it in front of the class thankfully! Although I think it would have been fun to present it, it was so much easier to just write it! Now, this is my first doctrinal sermon I've written. I've spoke various times and taught on different subjects, but this sermon was heavier for me. Maybe it's because it had to be doctrinal and it was going to be handed in to a brilliant theologian. Can you say 'pressure'?!
So, I decided to write my sermon on the incarnation; one of my favorite topics in theology. I told my friends I would share my sermon if I got a good mark (and it wasn't heretical!) so I wouldn't be sharing something of low quality to you. We were supposed to extract the material mostly from our main textbook: The Christian Theology Reader by Alister McGrath. The specific excerpts from McGrath's book which I used for this sermon are:
  • Athanasius on the Two Natures of Christ 
  • Athanasius’ on the Relation of Christology and Soteriology 
  • Anselm of Canterbury on the Atonement 
  • Thomas Aquinas on the Satisfaction of Christ 
  • F.D.E. Schleiermacher on Christology and Soteriology 
  • James Denney on Atonement and Incarnation 
It's 8 pages long, but I didn't want to cut it off in parts. Hope it can be enlightening and of edification to you.

And hey- be easy on me...I'm not a pastor nor a preacher. Here goes:

Who Do You Say I Am?


Introduction
            Christmas has just passed. We saw many images of baby Jesus in a manger. In the church, we learn that that baby Jesus was God. We learn that God came to earth and became human. We call it the incarnation. The incarnation brings about tons of questions like “how does the incarnation work; God being divine and human?” and “What was the point of the incarnation?”  We take our questions about the incarnation further because as humans we can be selfish, so we always want to know how things will directly affect us. Therefore, we may ask “is the incarnation important to me? If so, how?”
            There are two main reasons why the incarnation is important to us which we’ll talk about today. First reason: The incarnation is important because it helps us to understand Jesus’ identity. Second reason: The incarnation is important for us to understand the work of salvation. You see, understanding the incarnation brings about implications for our faith. This is why it is important to ask all the questions about the incarnation and seek its answers.
            Let us pray to ask the Holy Spirit to lead our time of learning and lead me as I teach: God, who are we that You are mindful of us? We are blessed that God almighty wants anything to do with us. Thank You for being a loving God, who is interested in Your creation. Even when your creation has failed You, You have remained faithful and have continued to pursue a relationship with us. It is only through Your Son that we can have that relationship. So, today, we pray that You may help us to understand more of Your Son, Jesus. Allow the Holy Spirit to teach us and enlighten us with the truth of the incarnation. And when we come to understand, that we may believe, treasure and apply Your truth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Who do you say I am?
            Let us begin discussing the first reason of the incarnation: to understanding Jesus’ indentity. Let’s start this time with a question that Jesus asked the disciples. Turn to Matthew 16:13-17.
When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”  They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven (New International Version).

If Jesus were to ask us the first question today: Who do people say I am? We could answer for the religious people: The Jehovah Witnesses say that He was an angel. Mohammed said that He was just a prophet. Buddhists believe He was just a good man. Hinduism believes that Jesus is one of many other gods. We could also answer for some celebrities: Alanis Morset implied that Jesus was just one of us; “a slob… stranger on the bus…just trying to make his way home”. John Lennon said the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. Malcom X said Jesus was black. And Pamela Anderson said Jesus was her “homeboy”.
            Almost everyone has something to say about who Jesus is. People will live according to who Jesus is. If you think that Jesus was just a good man, what’s it to you? It would just make him an exemplary human and it would not affect you in any way. But if Jesus is God in the flesh, then the way He lived His life, the miracles He did, His death and resurrection affect you because they were all done for you! John MacArthur says that the way you answer the question of who Jesus is determines your eternal destiny.
            So, the same question that was asked to Peter on that day is extended to you: Who do you say I am? [Pause for a brief moment of silence]
We have heard the answer of a few religions and celebrities as to who Jesus is. Now, let us turn to God’s very own word to find out who He is: Jesus asked the disciples: Who do you say I am? Being the hasty, impulsive guy that Peter was, He answered for everyone and said “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God”. This passage takes place before the crucifixion of Jesus. The disciples have now spent a few years with Jesus, seeing Him preach and do miracles that verified or authenticated that He was God. By now, Peter could confess that Jesus was the One the scriptures had prophesied about for thousands of years. By now, Peter was able to confess that Jesus was the Son of God and therefore God Himself. You see, the disciples did not just see Jesus eat, get tired, sleep, and go to the washroom- but they also saw Jesus read the minds of people, heal people and forgive sin. Even after Peter’s confession, they saw Jesus die, resurrect, and ascend back to the Father. The disciples were eye witnesses of seeing Jesus be 100% God and 100% man.
The God-Man
            Now, you and I have one nature; we are 100% human. God the Father and God the Holy Spirit have one nature: 100% God. But Jesus had two natures: 100% man and 100% God. Anselm of Canterbury had a great title for Jesus to describe his two natures: “The God-man”.
            For some reason, every time I refer Jesus as the God-man, a guy in his early 20’s says “that sounds like a super-hero!”. Let’s get something straight: Jesus was not like a super hero. Super heroes are humans with supernatural powers…super heroes are also not real! Jesus was not a human with divine powers.
            When I was younger, I tried to understand the two natures of Christ. Consequently, I reasoned that Jesus was like Hercules: half man and half god. But this is also wrong! Let me preface by saying that it can be difficult and mysterious to understand the two natures of Jesus- but there is hope for understanding it through the enlightenment of the Holy Spirit and studying of the Scriptures.
            Jesus was fully God and fully human. Because Jesus was God, this means He existed before he became human. John 1 says that Jesus existed in the beginning and that He is God! Jesus did not cease being divine when He became human. There were some things that Jesus could not do as God because of His human body, like be omnipresent. However, He was still fully God who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin, tempted but did not sin, did miracles and resurrected. Jesus was FULLY divine.
            Jesus was also fully human. Some believe that Jesus only appeared to be human, but this is untrue. Jesus was fully human. The Bible says that He grew up in stature, wisdom and grace before God and man. The Bible says He had to learn obedience. Jesus also got hungry, tired and sleepy. Jesus had human needs. Jesus felt pain! This means He felt the anxiety of incoming death in the garden of Gethsemane when he sweat blood. Jesus felt every humiliation, beating, and hammering on the Via Dolorosa and on the cross. He felt it because He was fully human.
            Now you may be thinking: wow. This sounds great. Jesus was fully God and fully man- but what does that mean to me and my Christian faith? My friend, the incarnation FULLY affects you. God is wise and brilliant. Thus, the way He works is complex, yet intentional.
We have just discussed the first reason of why it is important to understand the incarnation; that is so we understand Jesus’ identity. Jesus was not only a man. He was also God.
The purpose for Jesus’ Two Natures
            Jesus was not fully God and fully man so that we could try to figure out how his two natures work together, although it is important to understand. But, there is a beautiful and significant intention that exists behind Jesus’ two natures! The fact that Jesus was fully God and fully man relates to our salvation; this is the second reason why the incarnation is important!
            In the beginning, Adam and his wife, Eve, experienced the perfect state of creation and perfect communion with God. As you know, their disobedience brought corruption to everything. Perfect communion with God was ruined. There was nothing that sinful humanity could do to restore that communion. As humanity, we deserved eternal punishment and separation from God. But God being loving wanted His creation back to what He originally intended it to be; with Him in perfect communion. But how was that perfect communion going to be established again if humanity was now in a corrupt state? How was the wrath of God for our disobedience going to be satisfied?
            Anselm says that in God’s kingdom, mercy cannot be simply given out; the wrong must be corrected because God is just. God’s wrath must be satisfied with payment for the wrongdoing. Therefore “Satisfaction cannot be made unless there is someone who is able to pay to God for the sin of humanity. This payment must be something greater than all that is beside God […] Now nothing is greater than all that is not God, except God…then it is necessary that someone must make [satisfaction] who is both God and a human being”.[1]
            “…[W]ho is both God and a human being”… both God and a human being. [Pause for a brief moment of silence]
Does this sound familiar? Jesus, the God-man was the only one who could satisfy the wrath of God. Jesus, who is God and existed before He was clothed in flesh, was the only one who could satisfy the wrath of God and thus redeem our perfect communion with God. Only GOD could make the atonement last forever. If it wasn’t for Jesus’ divinity, we would have had to continue making atonement year after year like they did in the Old Testament. But because Jesus is God, He is eternal and can make the atonement ONCE and FOR ALL and make it LAST FOREVER. It was only Jesus who was able to do the powerful work that would restore the fallen because He is God. Only Jesus could abolish death that came to us through sin, by dying and resurrecting.
            Because Jesus was God, He was able to be conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin, be tempted and not sin, heal, control the weather, forgive sin, resurrect, appear to more than 500 men at the same time and ascend! We know God can do all these things because He is God! So, then what was the point of the Son becoming human?
            The point of becoming human was so that He could represent us, like Adam did in the beginning. Adam, the first representative of humanity, failed to obey- but Jesus, the second representative of humanity obeyed even until death. Jesus did what Adam could not do; obey. Jesus did what all of us humanity could not do; that is, pay for our sin and satisfy God’s wrath. It was OUR obligation to pay God back for our sin! But when Jesus became human, he took on our obligation upon himself. Thus, the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, the sinless One.
            Allister McGrath puts it this way: “A “God-man” [Jesus Christ] would possess both the ability (as God) and the obligation (as a human being) to pay the required satisfaction. Therefore the incarnation takes place, in order that the required satisfaction may be made, and humanity redeemed.”[2]
            That’s why Jesus had to have the two natures: so that He could make eternal atonement as God, and represent humanity as a man.
Conclusion and Application
            Let’s go back to that question that Jesus asked the disciples: Who do they say I am? Some say Jesus was just a moral man and a good teacher. Others say He was only God and not man; His body was only an appearance. But at the end of the day, what matters between you and God is what your answer is- not what others answer is.
            Jesus then asked the disciples “But who do you say I am?” Peter answered correctly. Peter was looking at God in the flesh at that moment. Peter could have just seen Jesus’ weather-beaten face, His tired-prone body and the rest of His humanity…but instead Peter saw Jesus as God. Peter answered “You are the Messiah, Son of the Living God”. Peter saw Jesus as a man, but also as God. Who do you say Jesus is? [Pause for a silent moment]. Your answer determines your eternal destiny.
            After Peter answered, Jesus said that his answer was actually revealed to Him by God. You see, when you confess that Jesus was not only a mere man, but also God- that means something. When you confess it and believe it- that means something! If you already have a relationship with Jesus today but this truth of the incarnation is making you see Jesus differently…good! The more we know Jesus, the more we love Him, obey Him and become like Him! If you do not have a relationship with God today, and you believe this truth of the incarnation and it is stirring you up inside- it is because God is drawing you to Him. Fall into God’s pursuit for you! He loves you and wants a relationship with you. Your answer as to who Jesus is must go beyond head knowledge; it must penetrate your heart. You will treat God according what your answer is. So, who is Jesus to you?
            I will conclude with the words of the apologist, Ronald Nash:
…if Jesus Christ is God, we have more than a revelation from God in human language. God has revealed himself- his person, his nature, his character- in a living way. To know Jesus’ teaching is to know God’s teaching; to know Jesus’ character is to know God’s character; to believe in Jesus is to believe in God; to know Jesus is to know God.[3]



Bibliography


McGrath, Alister. Christian Theology Reader. 4th ed. Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2011.

Nash, Ronald. Worldviews in Conflict. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992.



[1] Alister McGrath, Christian Theology Reader, 4th ed. (Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2011), 298.
[2] Ibid., 299.
[3] Ronald Nash, Worldviews in Conflict (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992), 154.